Did you know that surgical marker does NOT, I repeat, NOT wash off? Well, my friends, let me tell you, I did not know this before today. You see, yesterday prior to my surgery, the nurse made me write on myself. The idea here is that everyone, including the patient, checks and double checks what is going to be cut open, sawed off or otherwise violated during surgery. Then, just for good measure they have the patient write “YES” on whatever body part is the correct one for the procedure. 

Of course in my case, I was having work done on both sides. Also, I had already been subjected to the torture known as wire localization, so I’d already had X’s drawn on me with a felt-tip pin, and my chest was pretty much covered in gauze and tape. So, when it came time for me to get out of my clothes and into the stylish gown, cap and footies, and the nurse told me to write “YES” on both sides, I had nowhere left to write except for an area pretty high up on my chest. (I’m still not sure what the point was, since both sides were being cut on anyway, but who am I to question?)

Today I was so happy to get out of the ace bandage and compression bandages they sent me home with. However, I discovered upon putting on my sports bra and pullover hoodie, that my “YES” is showing. In fact, I tried to clean off my YES when I washed my face (no shower allowed until tomorrow) and it would not come off. So now I have what appears to be a prison tattoo (YES) peeking out of my sports bra. Worse yet, since I wrote them on myself, they’re pretty illegible. It looks less like YES than it does like XO%- on the left side and WC? on the right. And lucky me, it’ll look like I’ve got prison tattoos until they wear off!

I’m thinking of trying my new Mr. Clean Magic Eraser—after all, it did take Sharpie off my table the other day.