Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend was Bald Like Me


Well, yesterday was the day, folks. I finally lopped off my hair. It wasn’t coming out in hunks yet, but I could tell that it was starting to thin. While I could have gotten by with keeping it for a bit longer, I decided that I was only robbing some poor, bald 9-year old wig recipient by letting it gradually go down the drain.

So, yesterday afternoon I put it in several ponytails, which Hubster proceeded to cut off absolutely as close as he could to the scalp. When he was finished, I looked like Angie’s not-quite-3-year old son, Nate-Nate had snuck up on me with hedge trimmers. (“Wanna cut Moody’s hair, Nate-Nate?” “O-kay!”) Not a pretty sight. Mini Me said, “Hey, that looks like when I was little and cut my Barbie’s hair.” She is always such a wellspring of affirmation, bless her soul. At that point I thought, “Well, bald can’t possibly look worse than this.” 

Hubster shaved my head, and his head. We did this outside to minimize the mess. As I walked to the house to take a shower, I noticed my shadow—my BALD shadow. I stopped, pointed, laughed, and said, “Ahhh! My shadow is bald!” I know, you’re like, “Duh! did you think your shadow would continue to have hair?” Well, smarty-pants, I hadn’t thought about my shadow at all. How much do you think about your shadow’s hair? Uh-huh, that’s what I thought you’d say. In fact, later on, my shadow was still shocking me by being bald every time I saw it. I have such a supportive shadow, going bald on my behalf.

You can imagine the surprise of my friends when I showed up at church last night with a bald head. After all, they’d just seen me that morning with all my hair. You can bet I relished every minute of it, too. Especially since no one ran screaming in the opposite direction or said, “Can I help you, Sir?” As you can see from the pictures, I went to church without hat, scarf, or even mom’s high school hair wig. This is how I intend to look most of the time—so wig pushers, beware.

I hated to have to hack off the hair, but I have to say it’s not so bad being bald. Very low maintenance. Nice and cool. And it’s really kind of fun for me being some crazy-looking bald lady with big hoop earrings. Yea me.

One Response to “Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend was Bald Like Me”

  1. ashley Says:

    yes i wish my wife would go bald again and stay bald.
    if we ever seperate i will only look for a bald girl for my next girlfriend or wife.

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