We Are the World

Today was my first radiation appointment. It was really a non-event. The worst part is having my arm fall asleep because of the way it has to be held up over my head. The folks there are very nice, but it was cracking me up how they were telling me what a good job I was doing. I was laying still. That was my job: Lay still…on my back…for about 5 minutes. It made me wonder what kind of ADHD patients they normally have. After all, most of the people I’ve seen there are at least 80 and on oxygen. How fidgety can they possibly be?

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Okay, is there anyone besides my 10-year old daughter who thinks the foob is creepy? Here I thought it was kind of cute in its Cabbage Patchness, and yet today my lovely, encouraging child announces that it’s creepy in that picture. How creepy? Well, her exact words were, “Mom, your foob is creepy…it reminds me of Michael Jackson.”

“What? It does NOT look like Michael Jackson! Back off my foob already!” says an indignant I. “Yes it does,” the impertinent little twerp replied….”Look, Mom, Michael Jackson shaved his head for you!” Okay, I’ll admit that the fact that it’s whiter than me, and has no nose to speak of, does lend it a certain Cabbage Patch: Neverland Ranch Edition quality. Still, I think that’s going a little far—the foob can’t even sing, for crying out loud, let alone moonwalk.

The Foob is quite a celebrity these days, though. Seems no matter where I go people want to talk to me about the foob. “Does the foob always have its face on?” they ask at the baby shower. “I thought the foob was hilarious in your blog,” they say at church. “How does the foob feel about the plight of breast prostheses in northern Greenland?” they inquire at the Homeschool History Fair. The foob has become quite popular and I think it’s starting to go to his head. (Which is the only place it can go, since he has no body.) Just yesterday he informed me that his bra must be warmed to exactly 82-1/2 degrees—no more, no less—before he is placed inside, or he simply cannot function. Today he announced that he’s collaborating with Bob Geldof on a charity CD called We are the World…hey, wait a minute…

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