Oh, Ya Better Watch Out…

Isn’t the Christmas season fun? I love all of the festivities this time of year. No other time is so full of joy, giving, and opportunities to rewrite tunes that everyone knows in my own warped little way. I triple dog dare you to join me in a little impromptu sing-along. Don’t give me that nonsense about how you’re at work and you can’t sing with me, you Christmas carol-hatin’ weenie!

All together now….

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m tellin’ you why
Santa Foob is coming to town!

He sees you when you’re peeking
Trying to see which one’s fake
Though he looks natural under clothes
He’s a Foob for goodness sake!

So, you better watch out
And look me in the eye
He’s callin’ you out
‘Cause you’re not too sly
Santa Foob is coming to town!

There—wasn’t that FUN?! Isn’t it reassuring to know that all my creative genius is used for good, instead of evil? Speaking of evil, I had to spend entirely too much time at the BMV Saturday renewing my license. I didn’t even try to look good in my picture—it never works anyway. The result is that I look like a total thug. Like I’m getting ready to take my big earrings out and kick your butt because I don’t like the way you look. Like I’m kickin’ cancer and takin’ names. You wanna piece of me, Big Lots cashier who needs to see ID? I didn’t think so.