Talking Points

I’ve discovered just how much my sense of self-worth has become tied to my blog. Since firing up the new place, I’ve had a whopping 35 people sign up to receive an email whenever I post a new entry. That 35 out of 359 readers from my former home, or about 10%. Adding insult to injury is the fact that my OWN MOTHER hasn’t signed up! Is that sad, or what? How big of a loser does a person have to be to have their mom blowing them off? I’m crushed.

Of course, I’ve gotten no end of grief from The Foob. “Zee!” he spouts, “I told you they do not want to hear about zee hair, or zee marimbas. They want Zee Foob! Now move over and let me type zee blog!” Of course, it does no good to try to point out to him that he has no arms or hands with which to type. “Do not bother me with zee details!” he barks. I knew I shouldn’t have put his picture on the sidebar. He was bad before, but now he really thinks he owns the place.


I want to do a little research project here, and for this I need participation from my readers who are also breast cancer survivors. Have you ever been amazed at the complete tactlessness or downright stupidity of people when it comes to talking about cancer? Well, now is your chance to a) vent a little and b) educate the masses. What I want to know is, what is the single most insensitive thing someone has ever said to you in regard to cancer? You can email me your answers HERE. I’ll be collecting your responses until March 18th. Then I’ll compile them and post the results—keeping everyone anonymous, because strangely, we would feel guilty if someone recognized that we were talking about them.

To get the ball rolling, I’ll share a question that I’ve gotten several times. It’s not the most insensitive thing I’ve heard, but it’s annoying to me nonetheless. The question is “Did they get it all?” My first inclination is to say, “No. The doctor decided to leave a piece, just for the fun of it.” Seriously, I HOPE that when Dr Schmidt does surgery, his aim is to “get it all” however, there’s really no guarantee, now is there? I’ve also thought about just answering “No” and then waiting to see what the questioner will ask next. Maybe it’ll be something comforting like, “Oh, so have you picked out your casket yet?” or “Does Hubster plan to remarry?”

Now, I realize that people sometimes don’t know what to say, so let me offer some suggestions. The next time you’re tempted to ask the cancer survivor in your life whether or not “they got it all”, ask instead, “Can I buy you a cup of coffee?” And the next time you feel the urge to tell your favorite cancer survivor about how your Aunt Tillie died from exactly what they’ve got, instead say, “You look great! Have you been working out?” I know you may find it hard to believe, but this will be way more encouraging to your cancer friend than anything cancer-related you could possibly say.

Trust me.

15 Responses to “Talking Points”

  1. BG Says:

    Don’t worry too much about how many have signed up for email reminders — a lot of people (like me) don’t need them because we use RSS to tell us when a new post is available on a blog.


  2. The Moody Foodie Says:


    We both know that my momma ain’t RSSin’ up in here. So regardless of how many folks are reading me, I’m still a big loser for being blown off by my mom.

    But thanks for trying to reassure me.

  3. Garlic Sis Says:

    I too, have not signed up for reminders, but still check the blog. Don’t worry, sometimes we’re just lazy. In fact, the updates from your former site still end up in my junk mail folder just because I never got around to redirecting them. (But hey, it never stopped me from visiting your site….)

  4. Candy Says:

    Finally! I linked you! With my own pea brain.

  5. TC Says:

    I’m not on your email list, either, because I already get 497 emails EVERY hour, mostly trying to sell me something having to do with sex. Good grief, don’t these people realize I’m 1) a woman, and 2) menopausal. Menopausal women are not interested in anything that will make them sweat more at night, thank you.

    Anyway. Larry the Cucumber and Bob the Tomato don’t have arms & legs, yet they have very successful film careers. Maybe you should listen to Zee Foob.

  6. Carol Jeffers Says:

    Your mimi is soooo talented. Bravo!!!
    I love keeping up with you and your ongoing story.
    You are also talented and very brave. God bless you for your faith and wonderful example of living through the whole process.
    Loads of love and prayers.
    Friend C

  7. Kelley Says:

    Dear Mrs. Moody Foodie,

    You know, you could make this into a Dear Abby / Dear Miss Manners column for cancer survivors. What to do and what not to do; that are the questions.

    As for me, I have learned to keep my mouth shut. Asking questions can be very dangerous. Though some times stupidity does slip out. Like asking a woman how far along she is, in a tiny elevator, only to find out she’s NOT pregnant and her guy friend is trying to not crack up. My stop couldn’t come quick enough.

  8. Kim Says:

    I sent you “my” dumb cancer question!


  9. Jaybird Says:

    Glad you are back to blogging.

  10. The Moody Foodie Says:

    Hey Jaybird! Good to see you.

    I never quit blogging…I just didn’t blog at the old place, because I started the cancer blog on one of them there chronicle your medical junk sites. Couldn’t keep up with both due to chemo brain. Now I’m in the process of moving the cancer blog here…still working on moving the old stuff.

  11. The Moody Foodie Says:

    Shhhh! The last thing I need is for The Foob to think he needs a movie deal. Sheesh!

  12. The Moody Foodie Says:

    Garlic Sis~
    Do you prefer that moniker over Potato Fork Sis?

    Indeed, it did not stop you from visiting the old site, as you are still the all-time leading visitor. I’m thinking, though, that maybe you wouldn’t need to visit every 2-1/2 minutes to check for updates if you signed up to get the email when they’re posted. Just a thought.

  13. Melanie Says:

    Hey girlie – I must have lost you in the shuffle. As always, you make me laugh. I’m glad to have found you again.

  14. Garlic Sis Says:

    Pototo Fork works too.. whichever you prefer. Or maybe I should use a potato on a fork icon or garlic symbol and imitate “the artist formerly known as Prince and who is now going by Prince again”.

    As for the updates, in order for me to get them, I had to actually go to my email, log in, sort through my junk mail folder since I was too lazy to redirect it, receive the update, go to the site and then log in to that as well. It was easier just to hit the site icon on my desktop and go straight there.

  15. Ryan Says:

    I had to sign up to make sure I could continue my stalking of you HAHAHAHAHA!!!
    But seriously, I think my newspaper is interested in doing an interview with the Foob. Are you his agent? Is he hard to pin down for a Q&A? Is he too Diva for this?

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