Once again, Mini Me is at her high falutin’ harp class and I’m hanging out working on a blog entry. This time, however, I’ve ditched Panera in favor of Barnes & Noble, which is much more quiet.
So, anywho, all of this free time I’ve got tonight affords me the opportunity to check out the search engine terms, which are a perpetual source of amusement. We’ve still got folks getting here by searching for pork fritters. Even funnier is that one search was apparently for “pork fritter”. Yup. In QUOTES. That’s just priceless.
Not so much funny as it is disturbing is the number of hits I get from people who are apparently searching for bald girlfriends. Yikes. I think I’ve figured out by cross-referencing my Sitemeter stats that those searchers are almost entirely from outside the US. From places like Slovakia. Where the women are evidently hairy and the men wish they weren’t. Or something. Nevermind. I don’t think I want to know.
I am getting a few hits from folks searching for Panera products, which is fun. Don’t ask me why I get such a kick out of that. It’s not like I hate Panera or anything. In fact, I like Panera. And I like their Pink Ribbon Bagel. I just think it’s too stinkin’ expensive. But not nearly as inflated as the price of their cream cheese, which is, like 15 bucks for what my grandma would have called a smidgen. Fortunately for me, the Cinnamon Crunch Bagel has enough cinnamony, crunchy goodness, that it doesn’t really even need cream cheese.
Now, you may be wondering why I don’t stay on campus while Mini Me has her lesson and master class. The answer is simple: parking. Or rather, lack of parking. Oh, there’s a parking garage about a block and a half from where lessons are, but it would cost me about 10 Pink Ribbon Bagels (hold the cream cheese) to park there for the 3 hours I’ll be in town. And sure, I can get an after hours parking pass for about 20 Pink Ribbon Bagels which would enable me to park not in the lot right behind the building, but in another lot approximately 6 miles southeast of Egypt. Or, for the price of a coffee and a cinnamon scone, I can park for free and hang out at Barnes & Noble.
And since we’re all pink ribbony up in here these days…remember a few months back when I entered that essay contest for the Under Armour Power in Pink campaign? And remember how, after I got my Dear Jane letter, I noticed that the thing was decided 50% by the essay and 50% by the photo I submitted? Want proof that it was my pudgy pork fritter photo that lost the thing for me? Check out the winners at http://www.underarmour.com/powerinpink/. I’m sorry Under Armour, apparently you said you were looking fitties—I thought you said fatties. My bad.