There appears to be no shortage of breast cancer themed underwear available, because both Ryan and TC submitted thongs for your inspection. First, we have Ryan’s entry. Pardon the pun, but this has got to be the butt-ugliest underwear I’ve ever seen. You may not be able to tell, but the tree is decorated entirely in little pink ribbons. The description for this item states: “We splashed just the right amount of pink on this design and yet still kept the Christmas holiday.” I counted 46 pink ribbons on the tree. Apparently 45 wasn’t quite the right amount. Then there’s Rudolph’s nose—look at it, perched up there like a pink cherry atop this marvelous example of graphic artistry. And what exactly is the message here, anyway? Merry Christmas—You’ve got the cancer? As far as I’m concerned, cancer’s not invited to my Christmas.
Next we have TC’s example. Because nothing says sexy like a white cotton thong with “Who needs Tatas?” printed on the front in plain black ink. Honestly, until I saw these items, it never occurred to me that thongs could even be made out of white cotton. Like, I expect white cotton to automatically weave itself into granny drawers no matter what, refusing to become anything else. “A thong? I don’t think so, buddy, I’m white cotton. I don’t become thongs. I become your grandma’s underwear—full-coverage, baby, that’s what I’m talkin’ about.”
But regardless of whether you prefer the Christmas theme, or the plain Jane version, we can all take pride in the fact that these items were made right here in the good ol’ US of A. China might be making 99% of our cheap crap, but doggone it, they’re not making our white cotton thongs!