Ah, if only it were that easy.
You know, if like, you actually had the chance to throw down with cancer. If you were walking home late one night and cancer jumped out of an alley, and you had the chance to defend yourself before it took hold. With your keys, and the one karate move you remember from that class you took when you were eight, and this: your official pink ribbon pepper spray. “Back off, Cancer!!” you’d growl, “Don’t make me kick your can from here to Christmas.” And Cancer would be thinking, “Uh-oh, this one’s got pepper spray,” and he’d turn and book straight back from whence he came.
I found this display at the local Gander Mountain camping/hiking/hunting/fishing store, where you can also buy pink (although not officially pink ribbon) handguns. So, for those of you who just don’t feel like pepper spray is quite adequate to express the feelings you have for cancer, you also have the opportunity to bust a cap in cancer’s @ss.
Perhaps Nunya’s friend would like to get one to go with her sister’s Flava Flav pink ribbon pendant. You know, to complete that whole breast cancer gangsta look.