Another Visit with Dr Beer-Hurray

Picture taken on my previous visit in November.

Picture taken on my previous visit in November.

I had my quarterly appointment with Dr Birhiray last week.  Believe it or not, I actually look forward to this even though the minimum wait time is an hour and I have to be both weighed and have a blood draw.  The blood draw is getting to be progressively more difficult, because I only have one usable side, and that side’s kind of worn out at this point.  Last time, after the arm was a great big FAIL, they actually had to use a little chemo needle in order to draw blood out of my hand.  It was great!  As soon as she finished, I said, “Thank you ma’am, may I have another?”  She told me, no, that I’d have to wait until next time, and I pouted all the way home.  That’s how much fun it was. 

 So, anywho, in spite of all that, I still look forward to my appointments with Dr B.  Part of this is because he’s just plain fun, which is a very good quality for an oncologist, especially for MY oncologist.  And part of it is because he actually reads my blog, and he mentions it every time I visit—so, he’s totally speaking my love language.  Awesome. 

 Occasionally, Dr B has other doctors following him around the office.  I’ve never figured out if they’re full-fledged doctors, or doctors-in-progress, or what exactly it is that they’re doing.  Perhaps they’re learning how to be a good oncologist, in which case they’re in the right place.  At any rate, other than the fact that they get to see my boobs (and really, is there anyone in the medical community who hasn’t seen them at this point anyway?) they don’t really have any bearing on my visit.  This visit was one of those times that Dr B had a tag-along. 

 I don’t remember his name, except that it started with an O….OompaLoompa, Obadiah, something like that.  So, anyway, Dr B comes in and introduces Dr Oklahoma, then proceeds to ask me how I’ve been doing, if I have any questions or concerns, etc.  In the meantime, Dr Okinawa is standing off to the side perusing a stack of papers, which I assumed might have something to do with my medical history.  Finally Dr B says, “We’ve been reading about you.” At which point I look over at Dr Okey-Dokey who is chuckling as he shows me what is actually in his hand—print-outs of my blog.   Since I’m nothing if not narcissistic, that totally works for me, and I decide right then and there that I like this Dr Odometer, even if he is the eleventy-seventh stranger to see my boobs in the past 2 years.

 As it turns out, the post they’ve printed off is not the current one, but the one from January 14th.  I said to Dr Oleo, “That’s not the latest post.  You’ll have to check out the current one later.”  I also told him I’d be blogging about him—so Dr Onomatopoeia, if you’re out there, it was nice meeting you—sorry I don’t remember your name, it’s that memory thing we talked about, you know.  Maybe Dr B needs to put me on Ritalin after all. 

 Then, in one of the most amusing moments of my visit, (second only to the raging fun I had being weighed) Dr B starts talking about my blog and refers to my “cancer journey”.  I bust out laughing, and tell him he needs to read the latest blog post.

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Some of you may remember the posts from this past July when my nephew’s best friend was killed in a motorcycle accident.  At the time, I wrote two entries chronicling the events of that week.  I’ll be adding the final installment of that story after the first two, dated the same week.  If you care to read it, you’ll find it here.

Blog Swiffering

I’ve been doing a little house cleaning.  No, not on my actual house, silly!  (No one was seriously thinking that I was really cleaning my life real house, were they?)  I’m talking about the blog’s sidebar.  Specifically, I have kicked a few links off the blogroll, and replaced them with some I’ve decided I like better.  I’m all fickle like that, you know. 

 First, let me tell you what I nuked.  The 5 Minutes for Mom blog got nuked because I never read it.  The only reason it ever got on there in the first place is because I participated in their blog party.  Other than that, I’m pretty disinterested, so bye-bye 5 Minutes for Mom.  The other blog I nuked from the roll is Stuff White People Like.  SWPL used to be funny.  I bet the authors were totally relieved to get that book deal two days before they completely ran out of anything funny to say.  Whew!  That was a close one, huh?

 Replacing those links are some of my new faves.  First off, is Cake Wrecks, which literally makes me laugh out loud.  You guys think I’m funny, but I don’t read my own writing when I want a really good laugh.  I go to Cake Wrecks (or the skating rink).  Of course, the visual element is a big part of what makes both Cake Wrecks and the skating rink so stinkin’ funny, but the commentary is mighty hilarious, too.

 In place of Stuff White People Like, we now have Stuff Christians Like.  Okay, while I’m generally annoyed by Christian versions of secular things—think remakes of songs like YMCA so that they have a Christian message—this blog is not only very funny, but also thought-provoking and well-written. Tuesday’s entry involving Jock Jesus was just plain funny, but many of Jon’s entries, such as today’s, are just good brain food.

 Finally, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a total word nerd.  Just last night, in fact, I proclaimed, “I love alliteration…a lot.”  A natural part of being a word nerd is the aversion to quotation mark abuse.  It makes something deep within me clench up and get irrationally irritated (Did I mention that I love alliteration?  A lot?) whenever I “see” quotation marks “used” in random and inexplicable ways.  Here’s the deal for those of you who are always wanting to apply quotation marks to everything you write: Unless you’re writing dialogue, those quotation marks are probably completely unnecessary.  Put the punctuation down and slowly back away.  That leads me to the final addition to the blog roll, The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotations. 

Pork Fritter Popularity

It’s always interesting, and sometimes downright disturbing, to me to see the search engine terms folks have used to find this blog.  As I’ve mentioned before, more people have come here after searching for pork fritters than anything else.  In fact, the top three search phrases leading readers here are Pete’s Pride pork fritters (29 hits), pork fritters (14 hits), and pork fritter (9 hits).  There have been a total of 65 hits resulting from pork fritter searchers.  I mentioned this to Hubster the other day, so he googled Pete’s Pride pork fritters.  This blog was the second listing to come up—beaten out only by Sam’s Club, which is probably paying to be number one. 

 I laughed pretty hard when I heard that. How on earth did I get so high on the list?  Is it perhaps because of posts like this where I mention pork fritters, like, seven times in the first paragraph?  Because, hey, I’m all attention starved, you know, and once I find out pork fritters are a portal to internet popularity, well, there’s just no telling how many times I’ll talk about Pete’s Pride pork fritters. 

 Interestingly, almost no one gets here by searching for breast cancer.  Seriously. Like three people have found me that way.  Do I just not talk about it enough to rank high on google?  Or is it just that there’s way more info out there about breast cancer than there is about pork fritters?  Or maybe it’s both.

 Still, sometimes people do find me by searching for things like “breast cancer bald school”.  Shoot!  I didn’t know there was a school for learning to be bald and cancery!  Why didn’t I think of that?  I can just picture those late-night commercials with Sally Struthers saying, “At In The Pink Breast Cancer Bald School, you can get your degree in TV/VCR repair, chemotherapy, basket weaving, radiation burns, ditto machine operations, or breast cancer baldness.” 

 And other times, I get hits from searches like “high waist open bottom girdle”.  Now, I’m not really sure why that brought up my blog, but even more confusing to me is that the person felt like they needed to specify that the girdle be open at the bottom.  Presumably, a girdle would at the very least be open at the leg holes.  Unless you’re needing a girdle for your weeble, which might even be more of a specialty item than the “aunt girdle swimsuit” that someone else was apparently looking for. 

 Not sure how I feel about people googling girdles and having my blog come up as a possible place to find them.  There are no girdles here.  Only pork fritters.  Lots and lots of pork fritters.