It’s been quite a while since I held a contest. Every so often, I like to try to find out how far away this blog is being read. I get hits from all over the world, but that doesn’t mean they are actually readers. I get a whole lot of hits from outside the US looking for bald girlfriends. I don’t know why, and I don’t want to. But I would like to know how many legitimate readers I have from outside the US. So, here’s what we’re going to do. I would like to send Christmas cards to any readers who are not residents of the US. If you’re in Swaziland or someplace, and that sounds like fun to you, then email me your mailing addy at email@example.com.
Now, maybe you live outside the US but you don’t want to send me your address. Perhaps you’re afraid I’ll stalk you. Well, I can’t afford to stalk you, so really you have no worries, but if you’re still weirded out at the prospect at least leave me a comment and say, “Hey, Moody, I’m reading you in <insert your country here>!” That way I’ll at least know that, someone, somewhere, in an exotic locale like Tanbedistan, loves me.
Of course, I don’t want to leave out my faithful readers right here in the good ol’ US of A, but there are a lot of you guys, so we’re going to do something a little different. Here’s the deal: Leave me a comment telling me where you’re at—be sure that I have some way to contact you—either an email, link your to your blog, whatever. Friday at noon, Indiana time, I’ll pick some lucky winners—the number of winners will depend upon the amount of participants—who will receive an actual prize. Yeah, a real, live prize. Okay, maybe not actually ALIVE. But real, nonetheless. And what criteria will I use to choose the winners? I don’t know, but rest assured that comments which include alliteration, rhyme, or references to pork fritters probably have a leg up on the competition.
One last thought: The other day at Starbucks, I was telling my mom that it’s hard for me to know sometimes if folks think my post is as funny as I think it is. I said, “I’ll write something that I think is pretty doggone funny, but I barely get any comments. So then I wonder if I’m the only one who thinks so.” Do you know what she said, dear readers? She said, “People are lazy.” She’s talking about YOU. My mom called you lazy. You just got burnt by my mom! Ouch.