In response to my last post, reader Pam suggested that instead of avoiding holding anything in my hand that might be a danger to The Noob, perhaps I should just own the situation, so to speak. Specifically, Pam suggested that I get a cup holder for my noob. That’s great, Pam! Because you have hit upon one of the things that I love the most—cup holders.
Yes, as a chronic consumer of beverages, I think cup holders are great. They’re right up there with mayonnaise, and pork fritters, and roller skates, and canoes. So, you can imagine how excited I was when, on a recent trip to Gander Mountain (it’s an outdoors store, for those of you who may not know) I found a canoe WITH CUP HOLDERS! I’m pretty sure that this thing must have been contructed by God, in heaven, just for me. But, unfortuately, Gander Mountain thinks I need to give them money for it. Believe it or not, they want more for it than Panera wants for the infamous Breast Cancer Bagel. No, really, they do. So, I did not bring the cup holder canoe home.
Also more expensive than the Breast Cancer Bagel was the Breast Cancer Kayak at Gander. Seriously. I saw two of these things. And they are totally, and completely PINK. Now, as much as I like to avoid all the pink ribbon stuff, a thought occurred to me. How many kayaking breast cancer survivors can there possibly be in The Haute? Yeah, I’m thinking not too many. So, I can potentially see a future where the Breast Cancer Kayak is on clearance.
At what point does my love of a bargain overcome my loathing of the pink? I’m thinking no less than 50% off. Yeah, I’m pretty sure Komen could buy my kayaking soul for that amount. Who knows, I might even take it up to Geist and take on the dragon boat racers.